My babies are 4

Dear Ryan and Alec,

Your daddy and I found out when I was 12 weeks pregnant that there were not one but two of you in there. We still haven't recovered from the shock.

And then at 18 weeks when you were diagnosed as being mono-amniotic/mono-chorionic twins and you scared the crap out of us. We wanted to feel you move so bad just to know you were all right, but not too much because that meant your umbilical cords might tangle and choke off your life's blood.

Just a few weeks after that we saw the separating membrane on the ultrasound and your daddy and I jumped for joy. It was short lived. We found out you suffered from twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, a deadly and frightenly progressive disease. Four days later Daddy and I were in Milwaukee for laser surgery to save your tiny lives. After surgery I was on strict bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, all 3-1/2 months of it. I had nothing else to do than to wonder if you would be okay. If you would survive the rest of the pregnancy. If you did happen to survive, if you would make it through your birth. If you lived through birth, would you have any neurological problems. If. If. If.

Four years ago this morning (7:25 and 7:26 a.m.) you were born 7-1/2 weeks before your original due date. You seemed so impossibly small; together you didn't weigh as much as your sister when she was born and not even as long as my forearm. With only a month in NICU under your belt you came home with us on New Year's Eve. We will always remember that as the best New Year's celebration of our lives.

And look at you now. Four years old. We have watched what seems like endless firsts; sitting up, crawling, words, walking, running, jumping, riding bikes. And there are endless firsts to come; school days, dating, driving, marriage, children of your own. Children that you can't begin to understand how fiercely you'll love them until they are in your arms. Ryan, Alec, you are tough little guys. There are not words enough in the universe to let you know how much we love you. Thank you for being our family.

Mom & Dad